Connecting with your Values and Character Strengths

Connecting with your Values and Character Strengths
 by Jane Perry, Organisational Psychologist, Positive Leadership Coach & Mindfulness Therapist

      
Positive Psychology (PP) is generally described as the science of optimal human functioning and study of that which contributes to a meaningful and satisfactory life. The discipline has tended to focus on  human strengths and values, the power of positive emotions, positive engagement  and the meaningful life. More recently however, it has opened out to include areas such as well-being, mindfulness, goal orientation and even physical exercise.  
After studying for a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) over the past two and a half years, I thought it a good time to look back and reflect on the elements of PP that resonated most with me and which ones I have made my own? In practical every-day terms what has PP added to  my life? And… how has it changed me?
I am fundamentally the same person I was before PP, with all the same characteristics, values,  strengths, flaws and vulnerabilities. However, I think a little differently now and I respond in a different way to both the good and great things that happen to me and the frustrating and challenging things that come my way.
So what has changed?  I think my default position has turned further towards the positive. I always considered myself to be a positive person but pre-MAPP, I thought being positive was more about getting over things quickly and having an optimistic outlook. When personal or work situations became difficult I would respond with a corresponding negative emotion such as hurt, shame, anger, disappointment or a combination of these and others. After a period of time I would begin to catch myself and use self-talk such as "get over yourself", "it's not the end of the world" and if I was doing a good job of wallowing I would up the ante with "oh grow up and move on". I would not let myself stay in the mire of negative emotions for too long … and I considered this as me being positive!  
I now know, for me, there is a different type of positivity. My positive default position is underpinned by an awareness of my own personal values and strengths. MAPP takes you on a journey of self discovery and I learned so much about myself through the language of Character Strengths and Values. Character Strengths are our core values in operation, observable by others. For instance you can value hard work but it is only a real value or core strength if you actually work hard.
I  understand now how my character strengths make me uniquely me but also how they can get me into trouble. These strengths are the things that I like most about myself but, when overplayed, they are hard for others to live with. For instance my most prominent Character Strength is persistence. I will keep going until I finish what I set out to do. This is a powerful strength, particularly when you are self-employed, however unchecked, it can cause all types of difficulties. I need to be aware when I am pushing too hard; not everyone is in such a hurry. I have to be conscious of balancing out my time; everything does not have to be done today and that is just the start of it.     
This strengths awareness also means choosing to interpret the words, attitudes and behaviours of others as an expression of their values and strengths. In other words, when relationships or interactions with others are in danger of becoming tense, I will try to imagine how the conversation might be threatening their values or pushing them into an uncomfortable zone. I can also recognise Character Strengths in others from their conversations and can often pick up what might be motivating them to react or behave in a certain manner.
​It is a very positive method of becoming more in tune and understanding of others. I would love to say I do this 100% of the time but sometimes I need to walk away, think about it and then go back with a different attitude.
Knowing and valuing your strengths allows you to choose how you act and react in all situations. It also allows you to analyse your performance and behaviour in a positive and appreciative way while expanding your capacity to perform better and with greater authenticity. Developing the capacity to recognise and appreciate the strengths of others brings empathy, powerful communication, great negotiation and in the work-place, it brings the essence of real leadership to life.   

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Jane Perry